The power of Spring

With Spring I feel comes a sense of renewal, born again is our sense of self and we can make change to our life that fit this changing of season. As regrowth begins in fields of flowers and color springs out in the forests, , I suddenly feel that growth inside my spirit too. As a sense of community is felt as neighbors and friends slowly come back into existence, I feel like I myself take a new form of existence as well. I am ready to take this new energy and run with it. I will call this feeling Springness.

Before I explore too far into this Springness, let me first remark about the experiences I have undergone and the discoveries I have made about myself the past 2 weeks since I last said that I was off to a fresh start. Well, that start pretty much ran into a ditch pretty quickly into the race. I was having great trouble sleeping due to the discomfort I was in with my back and the anxiety that I faced with tests after I received a bad mark on the exam that I took the previous week. I then faced more sleep deprevation eventually resulting in my diagnosis of fibromyalgia. In the past 2 weeks I have been to the chiropractor 3 times, a counselor twice, and a rheumatologist. I have moved from a dorm room in Davis to an off campus apartment. But I think I finally figured some things it out (not all of it, but on my way).

Springness has come with the new atmosphere I have set myself in. Away from my prison cell of a dorm room, I feel like I can breathe fresh air and as it is as if a lifted a great weight off my shoulders. I feel like it will really help me to be more organized, to focus better, and be in better health with cooking my own food and having a nice bed to sleep in. As independent of a person I am, campus living was just not right for me and so many people who know me well warned me of that before I came to Wake Forest. They knew me better than I knew myself, but sometime it is harder to make judgments on your own life than it is for other people to understand its complexity. It's like watching a movie, frustrated that the characters do not make rational decisions because they cannot see what is around the corner when the audience can.

I think I need to realize that change and progress often needs to be a slow and gradual process just like the blooming of flowers and the process that nature takes as Spring comes into true season. Patience is a true virtue.