Making it Meaningful

This one has been a week filled with thought and shared opinions. I think the most fulfilling part of this week was talking to people, passing along worldly ideals but also just listening and engaging in friendly conversation. A lot of smiles shared, laughter, hope, few regrets. It all added up to a compassion that often goes amiss in this world where the social relationship is lost between hectic schedules.

One night after coming back from the library around the time that i had hoped to make it back, my roommate and I had one of our driving conversations. This one related to our change of mind since the arrival to college as an incoming freshman. Both of us, from the beginning, knew that it was not going to be an easy road through college as we both were pursuing the two most rigorous majors at our university. She, premed, and I, business, were looking at years ahead filled with endless study hours and were well aware of the activities that we would have to turn down to make it through. As the year has gone by, however, we have realized that the perceived goal is not worth the unpleasant road to get there. One never truly knows if they will achieve their dreams. Even though I am a dreamer, it is reality. So shouldn't we enjoy the ride if we might not even reach the stars? This is why we are both looking to the more artistic end because fashion is both something we love and the journey will always be rewarding and exciting for us.

A social entrepreneur came to my class yesterday who runs a service business called DC Central Kitchen that provides food to the homeless. He put it simply "do something meaningful but fun." He challenged us to make the world a cool place because our generation has already proved itself selfless. In this selflessness, we must find common ground with generations older and younger than us. It was really cool to think about how food is truly a threading bond between all peoples from every culture. This is why community meals are so crucial to healthy relationships. It gives you time to sit down and share in an event (meals) that must be taken time for anyway, if conversation topics are scarce, talk about food.

This week I really have shared so much conversation, laughter, and heart at meals. Love of friends, family, sisterhood bonds are felt deep down in the core of the heart. Warmth.

Free Fallin'

So I have gotten myself a few days behind on posts, as time slowly slips away through the cracks. I do not know where I left off, but somewhere between an endless day of airport on Saturday to make my way back to college (which does seem like such a waste of time, until you compare it to the days of horse-drawn carriages and start to appreciate the one day of travel) and now, I think lost my mind or something of the sort. Maybe it is the fresh spring air that has me all hyped up or it could be the fact that time once again seems to be running short and I will be finishing my first year of college in only six weeks. I do not know what to think of that, I am always so excited about the future, what it will bring and I always have high expectations. The optimist in me. But there is always the part of me that lives moment to moment, excited about each step of the way.

It is crazy what each new step brings. The ups and downs, the excitement, the exchange of opinions, values, looks... and every once and a while, one might catch you. Maybe that is where this new twist in my life originates. That moment where everything escapes your mind and the next everything falls right back to where it started. And you wonder did he feel it too? Then nerves kick in and everything feels so strange.

Well I went to the John Mayer concert last night, it was wonderful. Lost my phone again, luckily a lady recovered it in her purse today where she had put it last after the concert because she has the same one and thought that it was hers when she found it on the floor. She will return it to me tomorrow, however, another day without a phone will certainly be rough. I did not realize how much I relied on it until last night when I was no longer with anyone and then went to set my alarm and had no way of insuring that I would wake up for my 8:00 class. I went into panic mode about my phone being lost at 5:30 this morning when I realized that anybody could have it and could be doing anything with it such as manipulating text conversations with people that I knew. My heart started rushing and I had to calm myself down by telling myself that I had no control over the situation and there was absolutely no reason to stress when the matter was completely out of reach. Luckily the women was very nice, we had a sweet little Southern chat about college and what I was interested in studying. That was just a simple little reminder that there is no reason to worry about things that are out of your hands. Let it be.

It's Often Worth the Pain

I got a 6:30 wake up call this morning and a choice to go back to sleep. It is never easy to suck it up and roll out of bed, but I did it. At least there was no preparation involved in hopping in the car, coffee canister in one hand, apple in the other, to go for an early morning sight seeing drive.

Headed out to watch the sun rise over the mountains to the east and light up the mountains to the west. Definitely worth rising with the animals as they too appeared, hunting for their morning catch. It was the wildest thing to see coyotes jump in an arched stature to prance on their prey. We also saw two moose feeding along the waters edge. What amazing creatures, there are only so many animals with such immensity!

So worth waking up for, sometimes you just gotta suck it up and make the little bit of extra effort because often you will never realize what you missed out on because you weren't there too see how truly awesome life can be.

I even got to go back and sleep for 2 more hours, so it ended up being painful only for the moment that I had to convince myself to get out of bed.

Truly Blessed

Today I was thinking of how truly blessed I am to be privileged enough to see the world the way I have. The places I had been and the views I have seen make me feel so insignificant in this world.

Yesterday when I hiked to the top of one of the mountain peaks I just could not take it all in. The crisp spring snow being hit by the sun, shadowing where the cliffs hang over, vast landscapes with no end, skiers who had climbed another peak just living up life, and I am just standing there amidst it all in this picture perfect moment, but there is no camera that can capture that. There is only memory and in the blink of an eye you are back to focus... back to shit I lost my phone.

So there the question arises, what is reality? Is reality the big picture or is it the busy lives we get sucked into living? I am so torn by these too possible realities. I become so wrapped up in doing everything and I love that, I love the chaos of a busy schedule I have to admit it, but then there is a part of me that is enthralled by nature, taken by the simple life. So easily I could just have it all while having nothing at all. The clear, fresh air that refreshes your soul with every breathe and the pure enjoyment and sense of fulfillment from a day of hiking, biking, or skiing. Truly enjoying Gods creation without sight of the hustle and bustle, it really makes you forget the troubles, stresses dissipate.

I think that the struggle arises in the complicated fact that to enjoy the pleasures of the simple life, you have to give into the craziness. The job, family, exercise, meeting upon meeting upon obligations, volunteering, and daily chores must all fit in there so that you can be blessed by the scenery, travel, and take in the much deserved fresh air. However, I do believe that there is a lot of excess chaos that becomes very insignificant when looking at the big picture and I would like to try to funnel that out.

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
Romans 1:19-21

A Day in Jackson Hole

It ended up being a really good day. I did something I have been wanting to do for a really long time and somehow managed not to get myself out of trouble.

5:00 am- family left to take brother's friend with mono to the airport

8:00 am- ate breakfast while watching The Departed

8:15- went back to bed

11:15- woke up to my mom calling and bragging about watching a coyote, a moose, and a wolf

11:30- cup of coffee

11:50- headed out to ski to test out my new boards

12:00- lost track of time as the new boards took me to new heights

-met a townie on the lift who forgot his pass so I let him borrow my bus pass to go back to get it

-took some solo runs practicing the "catch and release" turns I learned yesterday which are pretty radical, makes me feel like I am skiing inside out, but allows me to ski with more control when I am flying down the slope

-met back up with townie (and let me just say this guy lives the life of a ski bum, skied in Argentina all last summer, leaving for Japan for 3 weeks on Thursday, skies in Jackson Hole everyday, I want to learn how you manage such a sweet life)

- hiked with townie out of bounds and saw some BEAUTIFUL views with the sun hitting just perfectly (got to check that off my list of things to do but want to go again)

- skied a face called 4 Points- who knew there would still be powder?

- not used to the wet powder under the new skis and took an exhilarating tumble and got up laughing, covered head to toe in snow

- skied to the tram nonstop (never get that skiing with the family)

- hopped on the tram to make more tracks outside the "forbidden gates" but realized that my phone fell out of my pocket

-townie challenges himself to cover our tracks to find the phone (presumably in the area of the tumble)

3:15 (sense of time comes back) went back to the condo and had some homemade soup (decided that I am a total soup-addict)

5:30- got my phone back

6:00-went to the Snake River Grill for dinner and decided to try something new... squash soup garnished with goose and fuji apples, i liked it

And that was pretty much my day, but I have decided that I should have spent some time reading so that is what I will go do until I fall to sleep. Goodnight!

The Battle of Time

Hourglasses were the first dependable, reusable and reasonably accurate measure of time probably invented in Alexandria around the 3rd century. The rate of flow of the sand is independent of the depth in the upper reservoir, and the instrument will not freeze.

These devices began the battle. The battle of time to fit the most we possibly can in one day, 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds. In our world, it is a challenge to see who can better manipulate the time we have. Multitasking, speeding tickets, fast food chains, stress, lies, broken hearts, they can be results of this limited thing we call time. We lose the sense of ourselves when we lose ourselves to time. We tend to forget that there is a tomorrow to get more of the little things accomplished, maybe it is because we know that tomorrow will be just as busy. Maybe its because deep down we worry that there will not be a tomorrow. Maybe it's because tomorrow will be better if we rush to fit everything into today.

When does the cycle of time halt just long enough for us to step back and learn to love, to think our own thoughts and invent, to remember, to enjoy the little things, to see the big picture, to notice how beautiful of a world God has created, or to reflect on what has gone wrong and how we can change it. How can we live in the moment and still live for each other? With each step we take should we choose to follow or is it our path to lead. Me, I think I want to lead, but then again I know that someone needs to hold my hand along the way. If we think we can conquer time in a one man battle, I believe we are wrong. But what does it mean to defeat time?

I am writing this bog in order to start my own battle against time. If I can try to take the time to stop what I am doing every day to reflect in this blog than maybe it will help me to see time in a different light. Then maybe next time someone asks me how I've been I won't say "busy." I feel like that has been a far too common answer in my life.

How can we be less reliant on our clocks?